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Bear Jokes

 

 

When we put this website together, we wanted it to be a bit quirky and entertaining. We wanted to show everyone that we are good people providing great service, and that we have a sense of humor. In Alaska, there are just about as many bears as people, so it seemed logical that bear jokes had to have a place on our website.

 

If you haven’t seen our Alaska introductory video, which by the way has an awesome bear in it, click here.

 
OH, BOY! HERE COME THE BEAR JOKES!  DO YOU HAVE ANY POPCORN?

 

 

Q: How do you visually tell the difference between a black bear and a grizzly bear?
A: When you see the bear, climb a tree. If it climbs up the tree and kills you, it's a black bear. If it knocks the tree down and kills you, it's a grizzly bear.

 

 A Checkup

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup,
and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better!" he boasted.

"I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant,
and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said,
"Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter.
He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry,
and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."

The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods,
and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him!
He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear,
and squeezed the handle."

"And do you know what happened?"the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man.
"Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at..."
replied the doctor.

 

Bear in a Bar

This bear walks into a bar. Then he sits down and orders a beer.
The bartender, amazed that this bear can actually talk, gives him a beer.
The bear says, "What do I owe you?"
The bartender stops and thinks for a moment.
"Even though this bear is smart," thinks the bartender, "he probably hasn’t been in many bars."
So the bartender says, "That'll be ten dollars."
The bear forks over the money and starts drinking his beer.
After a few minutes, the bartender can't restrain his curiosity, so he walks back over to the bear and tries to strike up a conversation.
"You know, we don't get many bears in this bar."
The bear looks up from his beer and says, "Well, at ten bucks a beer, I'm not surprised."

 

 

 

What’s a balanced diet for a polar bear?
A seal in each paw.

 

 

What do Polar Bears eat for dinner?
“Brrrr-grrrrs”

 

 

 

Have any good, clean bear jokes, little known facts, or interesting trivia about bears? Send them our way and we will give you credit on the website!

Submit a Bear Joke